Cara Benson spent years in active addiction before the Adirondack Mountains gave her something she’d been looking for in all the wrong places. She got sober. She hiked. She found a man named John who left rebus messages on the kitchen counter, little hand-drawn symbols instead of words, rays of sunshine about the most pedestrian things.
Then John died by suicide. And the mountains that had carried her through addiction had to carry her through something else entirely.
An Arms Full of Birds is Cara’s story, the ragamuffin who found her way to recovery, to love, to loss, and eventually to a converted church on a mountain where she walks out her door every morning into 1,500 wooded acres. It’s a story about what it costs to love, and why she committed to it anyway.
Dark Miles is a narrative documentary series from Hiker Trash Radio. These are the stories that happen on the trail that the finish-line photo never captures.
Then John died by suicide. And the mountains that had carried her through addiction had to carry her through something else entirely.
An Arms Full of Birds is Cara’s story, the ragamuffin who found her way to recovery, to love, to loss, and eventually to a converted church on a mountain where she walks out her door every morning into 1,500 wooded acres. It’s a story about what it costs to love, and why she committed to it anyway.
Dark Miles is a narrative documentary series from Hiker Trash Radio. These are the stories that happen on the trail that the finish-line photo never captures.
Show Notes
If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available 24/7. Call or text 988.
Cara Benson spent years in active addiction before the Adirondack Mountains gave her something she’d been looking for in all the wrong places. She got sober. She hiked. She found a man named John who left rebus messages on the kitchen counter — hand-drawn symbols instead of words, rays of sunshine about the most pedestrian things.
Then John died by suicide. And the mountains that had carried her through addiction had to carry her through something else entirely.
This episode is about what she found on the other side of both.
In this episode:
- The addiction years — what Tuesday actually looked like
- The hidden struggle with body dysmorphic disorder she’d never told anyone
- Eight years sober and not wanting to live — the depression that had been there all along
- The day some coworkers asked if she wanted to go hiking, and something in her said yes
- John — the rebus messages, the ordinary days, what he gave her
- The six days, and the black SUV in the driveway
- Getting lost in the woods on purpose — howling, locating herself in the trees
- The converted church on the mountain, the beaver lodge in the storm, the fluorescent light that had to go
- What John’s birds gave back to her
- Why she committed to love anyway
Dark Miles is a narrative documentary series from Hiker Trash Radio — produced stories about the internal terrain of the outdoor experience. These are the miles that don’t show up on Strava.
Connect with Cara Benson:
Book — An Arms Full of Birds: carabenson.com
Instagram: instagram.com/carabensonwriter
Connect with Hiker Trash Radio:
Website: hikertrashradio.com
Instagram: instagram.com/hikertrashradio
Apply to be a Dark Miles guest: hikertrashradio.com/dark-miles
If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988. Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Listen On
Also In Season 11
-
Trail Stories - Creating the Great Colorado Route
What makes someone freeze their tent to the ground, twice, and come out the othe -
The Barkley: A Love Story - Episode 1, "I Discovered It"
The Barkley Marathons has only been finished 26 times in 40 years. This is the f -
Dark Miles - The Weight I Carried with Steven Wright
Steven Wright’s wife Sandy died of triple-negative breast cancer. She told him o
Comments & Upvotes